This is one word that I don't believe is in most people's vocabulary anymore when it comes to human interaction. I'm not saying that understanding is easy because whoo hoo IT IS NOT! But I believe that we should at least try for goodness sakes.
Whether you are being waited on by the extremely crabby checkout clerk at WalMart, listening to the loud mouth drunk when you are out to dinner, watching the oddly dressed teenagers with their giant ear spacers walk through the mall, and yes.....wait for it....wait for it...even when you are cut off in traffic, passed up by a car at 100 miles an hour or driving behind an 80 year old woman driving about 35 miles an hour. :)
Before I start getting all upset I start saying things to myself like "Well, maybe the lady at Walmart is getting a divorce, just lost her parent, is having to miss her child's school event, or just found a lump in her breast and is waiting to hear the results." These things may not be true about this lady but then again, how do I know that they aren't. I used to think this one lady that checked me out at the hospital cafeteria was pretty darn crabby and I used to think "Dang...can't she ever smile?" And then...no lie...she answered her cell phone one day while I was in her checkout lane and then she apologized and began to tell me that her husband was at home sick with cancer and dying and she wished she could have been home with him but she needed to work at the hospital for the insurance. I'm pretty sure I'd be crabby too.
The loud mouth drunk Jamie and I saw the other night at dinner was a little annoying to me I'd have to admit. Then when he raised his arm I saw a USMC tattoo that he had on his back bicept. Just maybe he served in the war and was using drinking as a coping skill and was allowing himself to have a good time for once instead of experiencing panic attacks that night. This may not be true about this man but then again how do I know that it is not.
And oh... how I love to people watch at the mall. (especially those whacky looking teenagers) But before I am too quick to judge those earlobes that I could put my fists through (UGH!) and yes I'm going to say it...even the pants that are nicely positioned underneath the butt, I tell myself "They are probably just wanting to fit in. They are needing attention from someone even if it isn't the good kind of attention. They are trying to find out who they are." We've all been teens before and even though we may not have had piercings, saggy earlobes or tattoos :) We have all done something, wore something, or bought something to make us feel like we belong with a group of people.
Ahh...and then there is road rage. When someone is driving crazily around me I remember the time that Molly stood up and fell out of her stroller on a brick floor at the mall when she was about one year old. Her forehead instantly turned bluish and a huge lump appeared. I flew up Mattis Rd. and was passing cars at 65 miles an hour. So now I think "Maybe that person is headed to the hospital to get to a dying loved one. Maybe that person just got a phone call from their babysitter saying that something terrible happened to their child." These things may not be true but then again, how do I know it is not.
And the 80 year old lady that is driving. I know this is a touchy subject for many. I hear people say "When I get that old you better take the keys away from me." or "I will definitely know better when I should not be driving anymore." Well maybe you will and maybe you won't. We are not 80 yet so we don't REALLY know what we would do now do we? Maybe she has absolutely no family or friends and needs to make it to the pharmacy or grocery store. (this is more common that you think) Or maybe she is just scared to death to give up her independence. Try to "understand" this before honking your horn and giving her dirty looks.
All I'm trying to say through all of these examples is to try and UNDERSTAND where a person may be coming from before you freak out. I am still learning this myself but wanted to share some of my experiences with you. I believe that if we really, truly, knew why people do some of the things that they do we would be more patient, have more tolerance and be able to say ..."IT'S OK, I UNDERSTAND".
"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." ~ Tony Robbins
God Gives us HOPE when there seems to be none.
Your friend ~ Libby
No comments:
Post a Comment