UGH! Look how FAT you are!!

Let me just say that I only write in this blog anymore when the feeling really hits me and tonight the feeling was overwhelming. 

 

I just got home from a meeting and made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with exactly 2 tablespoons of peanut butter on it and a half tablespoon of jelly. Then I counted out 15 chips and put it on my plate. I say this for a reason.

 

 I plopped my butt down on the couch for a moment and happened to see part of tonight's X Factor. I saw a guy in a wheel chair and I turned up the volume. The show shared some of his story. He is in his early 40's and used to weigh over 900 pounds. He now weighs a little over 500. He has lost his weight he said by diet and exercise. He wanted to be there competing because he said he had been homebound for so long that the world has never been able to hear his voice. He still cannot stand because of his weight so they wheeled him up on stage and then he sang....

 

Let me tell you, when he began to sing, my eyes welled up and then I began to cry like a big ole baby. Why??? I was even asking myself that. I mean my eyes well up ALL the time but I began to cry and cry. So much so that when I sucked in some air I began to choke on the powdery cheese from my Cheetos.  I had so many things going through my head. I felt really bad for him and his circumstances...I felt mesmerized by his absolute beautiful voice...I felt so much joy for him that he was no longer homebound...the world was getting hear his voice for the first time...and I felt terrible sadness because obesity is such a problem and there are SOOO many people suffering from it. And then I began to think. I know..right?...just hang with me here.

 

Obesity is such a problem and most everyone associates it to being very lazy. However, I do not. I believe that laziness usually creeps in later, but over eating starts out for sooo many more reasons, just as drug addiction, cigarette addiction, sex addiction, gambling addiction, shopping addiction, alcohol addiction etc. These are things people do to fill a void! The sad thing about an eating addiction is that it is far less easier to hide than any of the others.

 

When you over eat people know it and if you are heavy people can be very mean. I have seen people look at obese people with disgust and sometimes even anger. ESPECIALLY when I see people going around Walmart sitting on one of their automatic carts. You can see the hatred in peoples eyes. Heck, if you have a shopping addiction the world can't see how much debt you are in when they look at you. You  may be beautiful and look like you got it all together on the outside but maybe you are a prescription pill popper with a problem or maybe you don't have a dime to your name because you just gambled your last check away. You may need to drink alcohol every single day but you keep it together enough that no one can really tell. Well, not the same for a food addict. They are judged the second they are seen.

 

I believe that in this country, people are becoming more prejudice with overweight people than people of a different color skin...I really do. And I would just like to say.... the next time you immediately judge the next obese person you see...think of them as a human being that has been trying to use food to replace something in their life just like you have been using or have used something detrimental in your life to replace something that you need. Don't look down in disgust at people sitting in the automatic carts at Walmart. They have become that way for reasons you could not even begin to fathom. It is not about measuring your food or counting out your chips....exercising a little more or about being less lazy. There is something that has led that person to the point where they are at and we should show grace and mercy to them just as God shows grace and mercy to us. It is so difficult to lose even 10 pounds. Can you imagine how difficult it would be if you had hundreds to lose. Show love. 

 

I may not be obese but how dare I ever pass judgement.  I know there are things that ALL of us have done that we are not proud of to fill certain voids in our lives. Unfortunately we can just hide ours better than someone who uses food.

 

Thanks for listening....

 

God gives us HOPE when there seems to be none. ~ Libby

 

 

WHY????

All of us ask this question and this is the best answer I have EVER read and I wanted to share it with you all. It was written by a gentleman by the name of Aron Moss.

Question:Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do bad things happen at all? Why is this world so unfair?

Answer:

Are you sure you want an explanation? Do you really want to know why the innocent suffer? I think not. You are far better off with the question than with an answer.

You are bothered by the fact that people suffer undeservedly. As you should be. Any person with an ounce of moral sensitivity is outraged by the injustices of our world. Abraham, the first Jew, asked God, "Should the Judge of the whole world not act fairly?" Moses asked, "Why have You treated this people badly?" And today we still ask, "Why God, why?"

But what if we found the answer? What if someone came along and gave us a satisfying explanation? What if the mystery were finally solved? What if we asked why, and actually got an answer?

If this ultimate question were answered, then we would be able to make peace with the suffering of innocents. And that is unthinkable. Worse than innocent people suffering is others watching their suffering unmoved. And that's exactly what would happen if we were to understand why innocents suffer. We would no longer be bothered by their cry, we would no longer feel their pain, because we would understand why it is happening.

Imagine you are in a hospital and you hear a woman screaming with pain. Outside her room, her family is standing around chatting, all smiling and happy. You scream at them, "What's wrong with you? Can't you hear how much pain she is in?" They answer, "This is the delivery ward. She is having a baby. Of course we are happy."

When you have an explanation, pain doesn't seem so bad anymore. We can tolerate suffering when we know why it is happening. And so, if we could make sense of innocent people suffering, if we could rationalise tragedy, then we could live with it. We would be able to hear the cry of sweet children in pain and not be horrified. We would tolerate seeing broken hearts and shattered lives, for we would be able to neatly explain them away. Our question would be answered, and we could move on. But as long as the pain of innocents remains a burning question, we are bothered by its existence. And as long as we can't explain pain, we must alleviate it. If innocent people suffering does not fit into our worldview, we must eradicate it. Rather than justifying their pain, we need to get rid of it.

So keep asking the question, why do bad things happen to good people. But stop looking for answers. Start formulating a response. Take your righteous anger and turn it into a force for doing good. Redirect your frustration with injustice and unfairness and channel it into a drive to fight injustice and unfairness. Let your outrage propel you into action. When you see innocent people suffering, help them. Combat the pain in the world with goodness. Alleviate suffering wherever you can.

We don't want answers, we don't want explanations, and we don't want closure. We want an end to suffering. And we dare not leave it up to God to alleviate suffering. He is waiting for us to do it. That's what we are here for!!!

Amen to that last sentence!!! I don't want to know the answer. I still want my heart to break for others...and even for myself at times. I hope you got something out of this read.

God gives us HOPE when there seems to be none. ~ Your friend, Libby

PEOPLE WATCHIN'

Yesterday the hubby and I had the opportunity to share some balloons with the kiddos and some information about our church with the community at the Arnold Days fair. We had a Spirit of Saint Louis Church booth, front and center, and people had to pass us in order to get the section of the park with all of the rides. I thought this was fabulous because this was my opportunity to smile to a bunch of people, show some kindness, tie some balloons on some little wrists and strollers, and casually hand people a card that had the name, location, and service times of our church. I would say that 75% of the people were very kind and receptive and accepting of the little 4X5 cards even if they may not have been interested..... but it was the other 25% that had me in a bit of amazement.

I would stand there and watch and I found myself doing my own little social experiment. There I stood...quite harmless.... I had 5-7 colorful balloons in one hand and a smile on my face. I was in jeans and a t-shirt and I even have some ink up and down my arms. I was standing near our booth with music jamming behind me (songs like Michael Jackson's Black or White, the Cupid Shuffle, and U2's It's A Beatiful Day) yet I would watch as these 25% would dodge me. Some would begin walking faster with their kids in their strollers. Some would make certain not to make any eye contact with me. I just smiled at one man and he responded with "I talk to God every day thank you." ???? I hadn't even said anything lol. Then one person actually walked up to me smiling, arm reached out, wanting what I had in my hand. So I gave it to him saying here is some information on our church. As soon as he heard the word church and the card hit his palm, he dropped it on the ground like it was going to burn a hole through his hand.

I just found it all so fascinating and strange how a few of these people were reacting and I really was wondering why. I guess because I am always willing to listen to what people have to say or offer to me. I may not agree once I hear it but I don't freak out. If you are a Jehovah Witness and come knock on my door... I will not slam it in your face. If you approach me and ask if I am a registered voter in Jefferson County I will answer your question. If you are a politician I am quite interested in your political views, so yes, you can tell me about them. So I was quite perplexed as to why some people looked at me so angrily...some as if I was invisible.... and some as if I had some supernatural power that was going to get them to do something they didn't want to do. lol...I wish ;)

Christians have a bad wrap sometimes with the public saying that we are close minded people. I believe now more than ever that statement goes both ways. People's eyes were drawn towards the colorful balloons and the music but as soon as some people saw that our shirts and our signs read "Our Church Is Kind Of A Big Deal" and saw that dreaded word "CHURCH" they immediately began to walk faster, move their heads the other direction, and even tell their children and grandchildren that NO, they could not have a FREE balloon. I then began to make it my mission to go ahead and go up to these people trying to dodge me and hand their kiddo a balloon and smile and wish them a good day. One, because it is my passion and I love to share information about my church and two...to be completely honest because I am not perfect and I am stubborn.  If  I saw someone turn their head as to not see me, I made myself visible :) and handed them a Waffle House coupon.

After a little bit of this "putting myself out there" (which can be a little bit difficult even for an outgoing person like myself) some of the hesitant people actually began asking me the question that was written on the back of my shirt.... "OK, so why is your church a big a deal?" and I got to tell them!! I also made sure that I told everyone that if you believe yourself to be perfect then we were not the church for them. :) And that is the TRUTH! I also practically skipped my way over to a group of "Son's on Anarchyish" Harley men just to hand them my SOS cards. They treated me not so well and then turned me down....EXCEPT...... for one of them, who as I was turning away, grabbed my arm and said "nice ink...and hey...don't let them bother you I believe all of us could use some church every now and then." and he took my card!!! :)  Then I promised him it was just an informational card and it was not telling him he was going to hell or anything like that and we both laughed. Well, he showed up at church today!! He didn't want to fill out one of our visitor cards but he did come and listen to a message that told him that he is loved, that we all are a little jacked up, but that our Creator loves us still. THAT MY FRIENDS WAS WORTH GOING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!!! 

Now let me clarify by saying that yesterday was a very positive, fun, day and most all people were very friendly and kind and quite a few families visited our church this morning!! I mainly wanted to post this for three reasons really. One...don't be so closed minded that you could pass up an opportunity for someone to be nice to you. Two...in whatever you do, have passion for what you believe in and step out of your comfort zone. It is worth it! And three...this experience proved to me once again that the name of God has power. It can make people cringe, it can make people feel uncomfortable, it can make people smile and it can make peope cry and fall to their knees. Either way His name is powerful. I am so thankful for that!!!

God Gives Us Hope (and courage :) When There Seems To Be None ~ Your Friend Libby

YOU ARE SO LOVED

I know I am the queen of way too long facebook status updates so thought I would share this in my blog tonight instead.

One thing I love to do is to tell people that God LOVES them. Problem is some people have a hard time believing this...they want to but find it too difficult. I know this because the last week or two I have received quite a few texts and IM's saying "Libby, I think it is very heart warming that you say these things but I don't really think that God loves me. If you only knew the things I have done, you would know there is no way God could love somene like me." These messages make my heart so sad because this simply isn't true.

Many of you have children so I will use this analogy. Is there anything your child could ever do to make you hate them? EXACTLY! You may be disappointed but you will always love your child. He tells us this over and over again....

God is disappointed when we act as if we do not need Him. He wants us to need Him but He is not going to make us. However, He does love us so. Allow me to be more blunt than to just say God Loves You ....

Have you or do you use drugs? God loves YOU
Have you had an abortion? God loves YOU
Have you cheated on your spouse, have anger problems, been abusive? God Loves YOU
Are you mean to your children at times? God Loves YOU
Do you steal? God Loves You
Do you worry and not trust? God Loves YOU
Have you questioned God and told Him you hate Him? God Loves YOU
Do you put others down, gossip, or hate yourself? God Loves YOU
Do you come from a family that has made you feel like a nobody? You are somebody. God Loves YOU
Are you an alcoholic, do you cut yourself, have you thought about or tried to commit suicide? God Loves You
Are you a biggot, do you hate others, do you judge others? Well, God LOVES YOU!

I could go on and on and on and on and on.......

Give Him a chance. He is the only one who knows EVERYTHING about you and yet loves you still!! The question He has is will you love Him back? Try to prove Him wrong! You will be pleasantly surprised. Just sayin.

GOD LOVES YOU!!!!!! Crazy ole, sinful, imperfect, YOU!!...and me :)

God Gives us HOPE, when there seems to be none. ~ Lib

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to not harm you but to prosper you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.

Romans 8:39 ....(nothing) shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Matthew 18:12  “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying?"

John 15:9 Even as the Father has given me his love, so I have given my love to you: be ever in my love.

John 3:16 For God so loved the word that he gave his only begotton son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_KXsMCJgBQ

So Many Have Asked...So Here Goes...

Those of you who know me and have seen my facebook page already know that I have been soooo excited lately and it is because my family and I have found SOS church. The question I keep getting is "Well, it's church. What makes you like it soooo much?" I'm gonna tell ya! :).

I grew up in a Lutheran Church in Arnold Missouri called Good Shepard Lutheran Church and I am very thankful for that church. My family had a lot in common with some of the other Lutheran families that we grew to know there. See, my dad was raised Catholic and my mom was Baptist and so they decided on the happy medium :). I liked vacation bible school and Sunday school and learning hymns and Christmas Eve candle light service and Easter sunrise service and what I learned in confirmation and all of those things. I am thankful that I was given a Christian foundation as a child. Sometimes my mom would take me to Life Christian Center and South side Assembly of God and then I would go with friends to Baptist churches and many other types as well. I have visited every type of Christian church there is and I am thankful for that. I have seen people bless themselves with holy water, speak in tongues, dance down the aisles, walk forward, be dunked in water, sprinkled with water, sing in reverence, shout with joy, fold their hands, raise their hands, you name it and I have experienced it. And I am not making fun one bit. These are all blessings and I am glad I was able to have those experiences at such a young age. It definitely shaped who I am today.

I made my own decision to become a Christian when I was 12 years old. I was laying in my bed around 9 o'clock and there wasn't anything that great on for a 12 year old but I had to go to sleep with the TV on or I could not go to sleep. So, I watched Billy Graham that night and I really listened to his sermon and the most awesome feeling came over me in my bedroom that night and I knew that I didn't want to only learn about Jesus any longer but I wanted Him to be a part of my daily life. So laying right there in my bed, at 858 Morningside Lane, I asked Jesus into my heart and it has been the biggest defining moment in my life and the one that I am MOST thankful for. I knew I wanted Him but I didn't realize that night how much I was going to need Him throughout the rest of my life.

I say defining moment for so many reasons but the reason I want to share with you tonight is that I learned that evening that Christianity was not just Baptist or Catholic or Methodist or Lutheran, not just Pentecostal, or Presbyterian or Church of Christ etc. Christianity is what you believe in your heart. Christianity is the bible. The more I realized this the more I did not seem to perfectly fit into any particular church. However I have always kept going because I believe that I should. The bible tells us that we should. Can you be a Christian and not go to church? Certainly. But like Pastor Tom said in a recent podcast I listened to.... being a Christian and not going to church is like being married and never going home. You are not going to grow in your relationship and you are missing out on so many blessings. My issue was that I could never find a church that I could truly call my home. Mainly because of this...I am not a perfect person. And because I am not a perfect person I always felt that I was not being 100% myself at church. Now those of you who know me well, know that pretty much what you see is what you get with me and I stay pretty true to myself. However, I still felt as if I had to look a little prettier, act a little nicer, put on a smile even if I was feeling bad etc. I just felt like people have a church face and then their home face. I always wanted to go where you could have the same face. There is a difference between accountability and being judged.

Molly asked Jamie and I one night when she was eight years old... "We are called Baptist because we go to a Baptist church and my friends at school are Methodist and Catholic and Lutheran because they are little and that is where their parents take them. Which one is the right one? WHEEW! You talk about a question! I explained to her that dad an I are Christians that just happen to be going to a Baptist church right now. We explained to her that we believe what the bible says and that Jesus is our Savior. We told her that one day she would have to decide for herself if she wanted to invite God in to her heart to be part of her life an that only she could make that decision. Then we explained that only God can judge a person's heart and that there will be Catholics and Methodists and Lutherans etc in heaven because it is not your Christian religious rituals that save you but your relationship.  Ever since that particular night we have had a yearning inside of us to find a church that showed not only us, but our daughter, that it is what's in your heart that matters....Period. AND THAT IS WHAT SOS (Spirit of St. Louis) CHURCH DOES!!!

Are you imperfect? Great!!! Then SOS is the church for you! Can you be a hypocrite sometimes? GREAT!!! Then SOS is the church for you! Because a church was NEVER meant to be for perfect people. (for one because there is no such thing!) Jesus came to this world to speak to the down and out. He came to show his love to drunks and prostitutes...the anxiety ridden, the sick, the angry, the masses. That is what our churches should be!!!. Instead I feel, and so do so many other people, that church is just for "good people" (but there is no such thing!)

Why is it that you look more Christian if you have on a three piece suit than you do if you have tattoos down your arms? Should you not be able to serve in church because you are not wearing the right shoes that day? (personal experience) If you are divorced are you looked down on in your church? Have you ever been given a letter from the church because you are not giving enough money? The people at SOS feel that you just need to come as you are and they have enough FAITH to know that God will reveal Himself to you in His own way and in His own time. It is not up to the people of the church or anyone to judge your heart.  SOS motto is "NO PERFECT PEOPLE ALLOWED". Pastor Tom has said that he wants to be there for the whole you...not just the church you. He wants to be there for the people that Praise God on Sunday and have a bad day and cuss on Monday and have a hard time because they know that soon it will be Friday. Church is supposed to be like a hospital where we go to get HELP (SOS) and encouragement! It is NOT supposed to be a place to go where we pretend that we've got it all together while in the meantime we are depressed or addicted, sick or angry. Church is also not supposed to be a motivational convention but rather the teaching of the bible. We want to "DO LIFE TOGETHER." Real life...the life we all know....this life we are all living....this difficult, challenging life!!

I have always been one to express my beliefs but I have never been one to push my beliefs. You cannot push your beliefs on someone. People need to think for themselves and make their own decisions. I am sharing this because for one a lot of people have asked and two, I share everything I get excited about. I share what restaurants I love, stores I love, shoes and clothes and nail polishes that love :)  So why wouldn't I share with you something I love that is LIFE CHANGING!!!?  I am excited. I am excited that people I know and people that live in the St. Louis surrounding area now have a church that they can attend and not be afraid to walk through the doors. Wear your jeans, tshirts, and flip flops, bring your Monster drink, grab some coffee, show off that ink ;) Be yourself! And if you have never been shown how much God loves you for who you are....the very person you are right now...let us show you. It could change your life. It already has mine.

God Gives Us Hope When There Seems To Be None! ~ Lib

It Took a Lifetime Movie to Change My Mind About Valentines Day

Now I never have been a girl that longed for someone super romantic...thoughtful was more my expectation. I have always believed there is a fine line between being romantic and what I call over the top cheesy. However, there was a time in my life when my hubby and I were first married that I did have some high expectations when it came to holidays and birthdays and especially Valentines Day. I would say the for about the first four years we were married I Expected the flowers and candies and expensive dinners. And being the kind of guy Jamie is he never disappointed. During that time I felt that by Jamie doing those things for me it must have meant he REALLY loved me.

Many Valentine's days I have had two dozen roses delivered to work (only to die a week a later) but hey the $120 dollars was worth those 10 compliments I got from my coworkers huh? We also went out and had those expensive Valentine dinners and one year I was even given a diamond necklace (one that he knew I liked of course because I had only told him about it over and over again). Many of us ladies watch so many love stories and soap operas that we begin to think that this is how it should be. Many times, deep down inside I knew that Jamie was probably just doing these things for me because I believe he felt he HAD to, which looking back is really kind of sad. But none the less I kept the tradition going. By golly if Victor Newman was going to do some of these things for Nikki then my hubby was going to do them for me :) Valentine's day seemed to be more all about me than about us. But during that time that was ok by me.

Then one day during the summer I was watching a movie on the Lifetime Movie Network. I sure wish I could remember the name of it but I only saw it once and I cannot remember. However the movie was about these two best friends. One woman came from a nice middle class family whose husband was a mechanic and her best friend was a woman who wasn't filthy rich but pretty well off. It was a pretty long movie but it pretty much boiled down to this. Rich friend (as I'll call her) was always being given beautiful things by her husband. He would buy her nice jewelry and she would always have to go over and show her middle class friend her new treasures. He would buy her flowers quite often and even wound up sending her and her middle class best friend on a girl's trip to Europe. Now if that doesn't show how much he loved her I don't know what would right? Right!! ;)  Many times, middle class friend would get a little bit jealous deep down inside. It wasn't that she didn't love her husband but she wished she would be showered with gifts, flowers, and trips like her  best friend.

Rich friend's husband was also very suave. His profession required him to dress in suits and he always smelled very nice. However he did travel quite a bit because of his job and was not home very often. Middle class friend's husband would come into the house with greasy clothes and hands. However, he came straight home from work and happy to see his wife, always greeting her with a kiss and heading straight for the kitchen sink to wash his hands to begin helping her with dinner.

There were so many things that happened in this movie that I wish I had the time to explain but long story short....middle class friend began feeling a little sorry for herself thinking that her husband may not have loved her as much as her friends husband seemed to have loved her. Until one day when everything changed. Rich best friend came over to middle class friend's house during the day balling her eyes out. Her husband had not only been buying her very nice jewelry and flowers but also quite a few other women. He was a Rico Suave' and apparently had many women on the side. While the rich friend is crying on her best friend's shoulder in the middle of her kitchen, middle class friend's husband comes home from a long day at work, smiles at his wife and begins washing his hands in the sink. He asks if he should pick up the kids from school since it looked like her friend needed her. She nods yes, her husband grabs the keys to go out the front door to pick up the kids. His wife then tells her rich best friend to stay right there for a moment. Middle class friend runs out the front door into their driveway and gives her husband a great big hug. He chuckles a little and asks "What was that for?" and she says "That's for taking out the trash, helping make dinner, cutting the grass, working so hard, being a great dad, and always coming home after work." (I balled my eyes out!!)

That truly is when everything changed for me. I no longer needed flowers delivered to my places of employement just so other people could see that my husband loved me. I didn't want Jamie to feel forced to buy me gifts because in all reality what he did everyday for me was enough. Some Valentines days we may go out to a nice dinner if we both agree....some Valentines Days we just stay in and watch the tube. Sometimes we get each other something and sometimes we don't. One Valentines day one of us may just give a card and the other gives a gift and vice versa but the nicest thing about it is that the day has become about us, not just me and that when we give each other something special we know it is from each others hearts and because we wanted to, not because we felt forced to. When we start realizing what we have right in front of us instead of comparing our lives to others or living in a soap opera dream world things become so much simpler and happy. I also believe it helps show our daughter Molly that gifts are nice but it is people's everyday actions that show us how much they truly love us and not how much they spent on a once a year gift.

P.S. He has not said so but I believe that if Jamie could shake the hands of the writers and producers of that movie he certainly would lol.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

His Name is Jamie

I have posted many different things over the years about how much I love my husband but now I feel like writing more. One because I want it written down for him to read and for Molly to know that her parents loved each other with all of their hearts. I am also inspired to write this after watching a movie that touched my heart like no other ever has and that is What Dreams May Come.

I met Jamie 17 1/2  years ago at a card party at a mutual friends house. It was instant attraction.  He was great looking, flashed his beautiful smile, I could tell he had confidence but wasn't cocky, and he had me laughing all night long.

Jamie and I dated for only three months before we got engaged. Our friends told us we were crazy and a few people were even mean about it and told us that it wouldn't last. Every anniversary I think about those people and do a little "Hah! proved you wrong once again" in my head. :)

Over the years when me and my girlfriends would go out I would talk about Jamie A LOT and after a while I could tell that some of the girls just weren't really interested or liking my comments very much. I guess they thought I was bragging but really I was just excited to talk about him and us and the things we liked to do etc. One thing I have learned is that even now, most women don't want to hear how great you think your husband is. For one, some will think that you are lying and two, it's more hip to complain about your husband with a group of women than it is to sing his praises. So now I mostly  just remain quiet except for  every now and then when I feel I must give a shout out to my J man :) This is one of those shout outs.

I must say that I feel a little sorry for Jamie for the way I treated him during our first couple years of marriage. I wasn't terrible or anything but I was just bound and determined to show him and everyone else that just because I was married and my last name was Sandridge, that didn't mean that I wasn't still my own person. I was independant! I would do stupid things like.... if we had people over or went  to someone's house and a person would ask their spouse to get them a drink or make them a plate, Jamie would say "Would you please get me one too?" and I would actually respond by saying "Heck no, you can go in there and get it yourself." I know it's something small but I think about this often and it will be in my list of some regrets.

Jamie had never given me any reason not to treat him with kindness and respect...I just thought that if I did ("in true man style" as I had been told once) that he would start taking me for granted. I was going to prove to everyone that I was my own woman and that I did what I wanted when I wanted to do it.  Ahh so young and  stupid.  It took about two years before I lost my attitude and Jamie never complained that entire time or ever said a word about it to me. (He always said my bossiness and strong opinons attracted him to me but I knew that if I had gone on long enough acting that way that the attractiveness would have worn off). Instead he just kept doing what he still does. If he get's himself a drink, he asks me if I want one. If he fixes himself a snack he asks if I want one. He cleans out my car, drops me off in front of the stores when I'm running errands, puts the groceries in the car even while it's 20 degrees out or pouring down rain and lets me sit inside the car with heat or air running. He has even turned the car around after twenty minutes of driving because I forgot to put my earrings on! It was right after that I began to ask myself  "Why am I being so selfish?" This man is so good to me, it is time I start repaying him for all the ways he has shown me that he loves me. I guess I need things proven to me sometimes.

St. Baldricks

Jamie is a kind, hardworking, laid back, and very funny man. He is a wonderful husband, a good provider and an awesome dad. Jamie did most all of the feedings and the diaper changing etc. for the first few months of  Molly's little life while I was trying to get over some terrible post pardum depression. And while I was depressed he never said nor acted like "You better get over this." or "My gosh how long is this going to last." One day he said to me "Libby, you are not yourself anymore. Why don't WE go see the doctor." So that is what we did. He sat next to me at my OBGYN's office while the doctor told us that things would get better and that he was going to help.

Jamie has never said nor acted like he had to "babysit" his own child. He has been hands on since the day Molly was born. He has fed her, diapered her, taught her how to ride a bike, catch fish, learn addition & subtraction, recognize sarcasm :), taught her pranks and jokes and even how she should beat someone up if they mess with her lol...the latest thing they have been experiencing together is driving. He has a lot of the patience that I don't have. I love him for being a great dad. I also love him for volunteering for getting a vasectomy when we decided we would only have one child. He told me that after seeing all what I had to go through with labor and the emergency C-section that it would be "idiotic" for him not to. I love him.

Here are some other things I love about him. I love that he is handsome. I love that he tells me I'm pretty. I love that when we go to work parties/functions or get togethers that we do not have to babysit one another and we can work the room on our own. I also love the fact that we can look at each other from across the room and smile and know exactly what the other one is thinking. Even to this very day, no matter where we go, I tell him that if I were single he would be THE GUY that I would choose all over again. I love that we have rarely ever fought and that our life is not full of drama. We have fought a total of 6 times since we have known each other and I know this because when we do fight I take note AND when we do fight..... grab a bag of popcorn and a soda because it's going to be a good one. ;)  However we have never left one another..not even for the night. He has always given me that sense of security that I love.

Jamie is not a jealous psycho man and he allows me to be myself and do all the things I love to do. Yet he stays in tune with me and will tell me when he does not like something. He is kind and laid back but still has a backbone. (it was this specific trait that took me a while to find in someone) I like to be boss but yet I don't. Makes perfect sense right? Yeah I know...I'm a woman what can say.

I love that he always makes me feel like I am the only woman in the room when we are out in public (even though like I have said many times that just because you're married doesn't mean you are blind) but if and when he does look he would never let me know it. I love that he is my biggest chearleader, that we make decisions together when it comes to raising Molly, and I really appreciate the fact that what started out as him going to church because he loved me would end up becoming him going to church because he loves God.

One of the two things I love the very most is that Jamie makes me LAUGH!!!! even at inappropriate times lol and I also LOVE that he dances!!! It was during that first three months that we dated...we were out at a mexican restaurant right off Tesson Ferry (which they have since torn down and I can no longer remember the name of it) but great music was coming out of their speaker system so Jamie grabbed me by the hand took me to this small open area in the middle of the restaurant and we danced in the middle of the restaurant while everyone was eating. I love him because he just didn't do these things to impress me because we were dating. I am happy to say that just last night him and I had the BEST time dancing to some great songs from our youth. We dance all the time and I love it!!

Jamie has given up some toys that most men have so that I could stay home with Molly and he still gives up a lot of things that I know he'd probably like to have just so I can work a job I enjoy or quit it whenever I want. Jamie is unique. He is genuine and I mean very genuine. There is not single bone in his body that yearns to act like he is something he is not. Jamie is kind and Jamie is loyal. I will love him to the day I die. I am happy I've experienced this love. I thank God for it every single day and it is one of my ultimate wishes that we get to grow very, very, old together. 

I am glad I got to express this because there are so many times I don't express it when I actually want to because people just don't take me the right way when I say it.

I have told him all these things before but I think we can all use reminders about just how much someone loves us.